This post by KatieAdsila, originally appeared on The Well Project

Have you ever heard of AIDSWatch? It’s an annual advocacy event in Washington DC where many of the nation’s HIV advocates come together to speak with their representatives about funding and policies that impact our communities, and it’s happening at the end of this month, March 2025. I was invited to not only attend, but also to lead a group from my state this year, but as honored as I was to be invited to be a leader at this most important conference in this crucial moment in our nation, I couldn’t do it.

With the government itself pushing extreme hatred from the very top levels down, violence against transgender individuals has risen and continues to rise.

I couldn’t bring myself to be in DC for a few reasons. First, I was terrified of traveling as a transgender woman in our current political and social environment. Just the idea of having to go to the restroom makes me anxious, because I AM NOT going into a men’s bathroom; the thought is frightening, I would be harassed and probably assaulted at some point. So I don’t feel safe to use the toilet right now. Secondly, I don’t feel safe, period, anywhere. With the government itself pushing extreme hatred from the very top levels down, violence against transgender individuals has risen and continues to rise. And as an unfortunate consequence, violence has also risen amongst cisgender women who present androgynously or simply not feminine enough. These numbers will continue to rise in a world that villainizes transgender people and sees us as less than human. And finally, I couldn’t go to Washington this year and try to speak to people who openly hate me and have absolutely no respect for my humanity, because I feel the same way about them and I know that it would be apparent on my face and in my voice, just as they can’t hide their disdain for me.

I was recently approached to do a simple task, to write a letter to each of my representatives to be added to the leave-behind folder that would be left with the representative or their staff. I tried, but every time I tried to write something to them it would always come out sounding something like this:

"To whom it may concern at the office of:

My name is not relevant. As a transgender woman you don’t respect my name, pronouns, or even my existence anyway, so why should I grace you with my name? I don’t respect anything about you, just as you don’t respect anything about me. See how this works? However you feel about me is the exact same way I feel about you, how you treat me is how I intend to treat you, see how this works? This is the world that you created.

We were once a people who respected each other even when we disagreed with one another, but you have killed that spirit in our country. You have not done anything to solve any real issues that the people actually need resolution to, instead you have done nothing but sow hate for an innocent group of people who have done absolutely nothing to deserve your ire. You are not honorable people so I refuse to call you honorable, there is nothing remotely honorable about you. You have betrayed your country by handing it over wholly to an authoritarian, and you have betrayed your god if you have one, and I feel sorry for you when you stand before your god at your judgement because I’ll be there to testify against you. You’re not worthy of your office and you will be remembered in history as a traitor I promise you. You treat me and my community as though we are less than human, and that just shows how subhuman you are, and I will not feel sorry when your fall finally comes. As it IS coming!! Because good always prevails in the end, and you are on the evil side of history. May your grandchildren enjoy your place in history for generations."

Is that too much? Because I don’t think it’s nearly enough. That’s the letter that I WANT to send, I know it wouldn’t be productive or conducive to a positive outcome, but at this point, would anything? They’ve already fully decided that I am an enemy, that I’m not human and therefore should have no expectation of human rights.

If you truly hear my message, please share it, find any way you can to resist and fight back, fight for me, because when they’re done with me and my community, they’ll come for you and yours.

We’re living in a time in history that will be remembered forever, as either the generation that fumbled democracy or as the generation that saved it. These are the opinions we’re facing right now. We can either resist and fight back or just ignore what’s going on and slowly watch the ship go down. That’s it! There is no sideline to sit on, you’re either on one side or the other but there is no middle ground here. So what choice will you make? What side are you on? And bear in mind that you will be remembered forever for your decision.

I couldn’t bring myself to go to Washington right now because my fear and anxiety as a transgender woman and my anger and bitterness towards my representatives was too strong for me to handle. So I must find another way to be heard. If you truly hear my message, please share it, find any way you can to resist and fight back, fight for me, because when they’re done with me and my community, they’ll come for you and yours. Just remember that. You’re next.

The Well Project is a non-profit organization whose mission is to change the course of the HIV/AIDS pandemic through a unique and comprehensive focus on women and girls across the gender spectrum. Visit their website, www.thewellproject.org, to access fact sheets (English and Spanish), blogs, and advocacy tools, and to join a global community of women living with HIV.