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Dave, I have no idea how you must feel. Being Catholic, I am expected to believe that this is what we should sometimes expect, regardless of our state on earth. The very real prospect of, "this too shall pass," is a religous sentiment & a cognitive therapy technique that works. I trust & hope Dave, that by the time you read this, most of your dispair has passed. You are in my prayers today.
I don’t know why I’m “happy” to read this, maybe it’s because minor details aside, the feelings you’ve shared mirror my own and illustrate an experience of HIV far too prevalent within my circle of friends. Thanks for your candor, you speak for many of us. Please hang in there… and perhaps move to Toronto, nudge nudge wink wink!! Posi+ive vybez +++ Jorial.
Hi Dave, recently I had a seizure and I found out that I have a tumor. So far it seems to be non-malignant. Let me also tell you that I have been on meds. for twenty-one year. The way I feel is that I am no longer living but existing. I am sick of being call a long term survivor, I have no idea what that means. I just wish that I had never started the meds. This is not what I was expecting my life to be when I agreed to start treatment. I have nothing to live for, all my friends are either dead and those that are not, they are either in bars drinking, something I can not do or they are out looking to get laid, I have no desire for sex. All I wish for is that I go to sleep one day and not wake up. So if you think that things are bad for you, think about me.
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Dave, I've always enjoyed your blog and my heart aches for you. Please hang in there. Humanity can be such a disappointment sometimes - that's for sure. But there are good people out there. When my partner was diagnosed with AIDS... we became even closer. He needs me more now than ever and I'm here for him. When the going gets tough... you really do find out who your friends are. I'll be thinking of you and hoping you find more "real" friends. Stubb
Hi Dave; Look at all the friends you have on the blog. It's so easy to feel low about yourself and cheer yourself up with the wonderful memories you have had. Yes, I have my medical issues as you know but LIFE IS WORTH LIVING no matter how bleek it may seem. You survived. Keep yourself busy do some creative volunteer work. Don't be alone by doing volunteer work you get to meet new people that can share their lives with you. Try some HIV support groups whereby you can share your feelings and make a one on one basis. Anyone can feel sorry and pitiful but, it takes a much better person to be positive. I pray for you Dave. Your friend yes, I say your friend! Anthony
Hello, dear. Just started reading your blog, and wish there was something more cheering to do for you than commenting. I've lost so many friends that I find myself in the sad-and-lonely seat more often than not lately, too. Chin up. Recuperation celebration must be around the corner.
nicola
Please cheer up! I know things suck but they will improve! And by the way your face looks fabulous! cheer up!
June 7, 2009